I went to the dermatologist today. I went there because the facial lady said that I had a brown spot on my nose that I should have checked out. Not exactly what a girl wants to hear, but better, I suppose than having a brown spot in my nose that I should have checked out. So I went. I went there intending to ask about the brown spot on my nose. I went there after waiting three months for an appointment slot to open up. I went there expecting to have a simple skin check.
That’s not what I got when I went there.
Doc walks in and acts surprised when I greet him with a polite hello. Yeah, um clearly Doc won’t be receiving the People’s Choice for Excellent Bedside Manner Award anytime soon. Rather than wasting time on pleasantries he directs me to the table where he proceeds to look at my back.
Doc: You have a big mole back here.
Me: I know.
Doc: How long has it been there?
Me: As long as I can remember.
Doc: I think that we should remove that.
Me: Okay.
Doc: Flip over.
I flip over. He quickly peruses my skin.
Doc: Okay. We’re just going to biopsy that.
Me: Oh. You mean right now.
Doc: Yep.
Me: Is it going to hurt?
Doc: Nope. I’m going to give you a local anesthetic.
By local anesthetic he means he is going to stick a needle directly into my mole. And then he is going to realize that he perhaps missed the geographical center of aforementioned mole by a smidgen so he is going to remove the needle only to reinsert it the teensiest bit to the left.
Um. Ouch.
Then he is going to berate me with questions as to how long the mole has been there and why I let it go untreated for so long. Because we all know that accusatory questions are helpful in reducing tension. Especially when your body is being dissected to search for cancerous cells.
But then he put his sharp tools away. And as quickly as his scolding began, his initial bedside manner returned.
Doc: Call us in a week for the results. If it comes back with bad cells, I’ll have to go in deeper.
Fun.
And that was that. The nurse bandaged me up and sent me on my way.
I went there to have a brown spot on my nose checked out. Not to have a large chunk of my back cut out without warning. Now you see why I avoid doctors. And dentists. Heck, I don’t even like getting a manicure because they pull out those sharp scissory things and cut at your cuticles.
Here’s to hoping I get good news from Dr. Smiley. Because as tempting as it sounds, I’d really rather avoid having him “go in deeper.”
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s horrible!!! Ouch. Did he ever say anything about your nose??
That last sentence almost made me snort Diet Coke out of my nose! I hope the mole turns out to be nothing, I’m sure it is. BUT, did he ever even look at your nose? It must be a dermatologist thing-I went in once for a spot on my forehead, he walked in, said “it’s nothing, just an overly enlarged pore”, turned around, and walked out. I was like “but, but, WAIT!” lol
Yikes! Sounds awful!
Ouch!!! Hope its all alright!!
Ugh. That stinks.
I’m sure it will be fine. I think they have to dig into something while you’re there. To make up for the 3 month wait.
I’m wondering like the others…did he ever make it to your nose?
you gotta love local anesthetic. not. i’ve had it in an even worse place before [insert name of the most feminine area
onin a woman's body]. yikes.ACK!! I’ve had several moles removed (several as in several HUNDRED) and all have come back benign. I do get regular body checks though. Not fun.
Okay, now I’m convicted. There’s one on my neck that I know I need to have looked at, but I’ve been delaying making an appt.
Hey, we all know what that brown spot is. It’s called “brown nose” and it’s caused from brown nosing. Now the question is: who, or is it whom, do you brown nose?