Here’s this week’s Finish This Sentence Friday:

I should be _______________, but here I sit reading this blog!

I don’t know about you, but I should be getting my kids out the door in a timely manner for school, but here I sit writing this blog.

What’s your to-do list look like today?

     I went to the dermatologist today.  I went there because the facial lady said that I had a brown spot on my nose that I should have checked out.  Not exactly what a girl wants to hear, but better, I suppose than having a brown spot in my nose that I should have checked out.  So I went.  I went there intending to ask about the brown spot on my nose.  I went there after waiting three months for an appointment slot to open up.  I went there expecting to have a simple skin check. 

     That’s not what I got when I went there.

     Doc walks in and acts surprised when I greet him with a polite hello.  Yeah, um clearly Doc won’t be receiving the People’s Choice for Excellent Bedside Manner Award anytime soon.  Rather than wasting time on pleasantries he directs me to the table where he proceeds to look at my back. 

       Doc: You have a big mole back here. 
       Me: I know.
       Doc: How long has it been there?
       Me: As long as I can remember. 
       Doc: I think that we should remove that.
       Me: Okay.
       Doc: Flip over.
       I flip over.  He quickly peruses my skin.
       Doc:  Okay.  We’re just going to biopsy that.
       Me: Oh.  You mean right now.
       Doc: Yep.
       Me: Is it going to hurt?
       Doc: Nope.  I’m going to give you a local anesthetic.

     By local anesthetic he means he is going to stick a needle directly into my mole.  And then he is going to realize that he perhaps missed the geographical center of aforementioned mole by a smidgen so he is going to remove the needle only to reinsert it the teensiest bit to the left. 

     Um.  Ouch.

     Then he is going to berate me with questions as to how long the mole has been there and why I let it go untreated for so long.  Because we all know that accusatory questions are helpful in reducing tension.  Especially when your body is being dissected to search for cancerous cells. 

     But then he put his sharp tools away.  And as quickly as his scolding began, his initial bedside manner returned. 

     Doc: Call us in a week for the results.  If it comes back with bad cells, I’ll have to go in deeper.

     Fun.

     And that was that.  The nurse bandaged me up and sent me on my way. 

     I went there to have a brown spot on my nose checked out.  Not to have a large chunk of my back cut out without warning.  Now you see why I avoid doctors.  And dentists.  Heck, I don’t even like getting a manicure because they pull out those sharp scissory things and cut at your cuticles.  

     Here’s to hoping I get good news from Dr. Smiley.  Because as tempting as it sounds, I’d really rather avoid having him “go in deeper.”

     I have a new one for Jeff Foxworthy to add to his repertoire.  And yes.  This did really happen.  No.  Not to me.

     You might be a redneck if you have to legally change your newborn baby’s name because the tattoo artist misspelled it.

     Hmmm.  Wonder if she can spell ‘classy’?

     So, if you’ve read about my family, then you know that I have three daughters.  One of which is a teen.  One of which is a tween.  And the last of which is equipped with a 47th chromosome that must be encoded with enough sass and spunk to last her a lifetime. 

     Ah yes.  My angels.

     If there is one thing I’m learning it’s that the teen and tween years are no picnic.  The oldest one wouldn’t be caught dead in an article of clothing that does not have the word “Abercrombie” emblazoned across the front of it.  And since I wouldn’t be caught dead spending $30 for a glorified tissue paper thin t-shirt, you can see how we might clash in that department.

     The tween is just now entering a super fun stage too.  Each and every morning she hosts a pout fest in front of the mirror.  It’s all about the hair.  Her hair is red.  But technically, it’s orange.  Everywhere we go perfect strangers compliment her beautiful hair.  She thanks them.  Then she mutters something inaudible under her breath about dying it when she grows up.

     Having girls this age isn’t all bad.  Yes, there are bad hair days with which I must put up.  And we’ve had a run-in or twelve thousand two with the eye rolling and the sighing and the atrocious attitudes that I thought I Ieft behind in my own teenage years.  Oh yes.  All of these are burdens I must bear.  But with great strife comes great reward my friends.

     I have two words for you: child labor.

     My days of emptying the dishwasher are done gone.  Sweeping up the kitchen floor?  Check.  Cleaning the guest bathroom?  Check.  Setting and clearing the table?  Check, check.

     See there?  Great reward.

     There are laughs along the way too.  Those certainly help see us through to another day.  Here is a snippet:

     Kennedy (the tween) was emptying the dishwasher when one of my favorite deep cereal bowls slipped from her hands and went crashing to the concrete floor of our kitchen.  (Yes, we have concrete floors.  Why?  Because honestly they’re not all that uncommon here in Arizona.  Rather attractive really.  I’ll share a picture sometime.  Let’s move on though).  The bowl remained partially intact.  The other part was left in bits and shards on the floor.

       Kennedy (in her best sheepish voice): Oops.  I’m sorry.

       Me (on the phone with my mom, I holler from the other room): What was it?

       Kennedy: a bowl.

       Me: One of the small bowls?

       Kennedy: No.

       Me: Aw.  You broke one of my bowls?

       Kennedy: Half of it.

     I walk into the room to find her holding the intact half of the bowl in one hand.  Because she is barefoot I excuse her from the room so that I can pick up the pieces, if you will.  Moments later she returns.

       Kennedy: Can we get a new one?

       Me (talking to my Mom in California): Can you go back to that outlet store and pick up a bowl for me?

       Kennedy (pipes up in all seriousness): Just a half one.

     Yeah.  I think she’s a keeper. 

     The time has come in my itty-bitty blogdom for a giveaway.  So I was trying to think of something unique to put up for grabs.  Oh, and I had lots of ideas.  Somehow though I couldn’t see anybody getting really excited over the pair of swim trunks once owned by K-Fed I saw up for auction on ebay.  Yeah.  I don’t blame ya.  Maybe unique wasn’t my best route.  So I thought about things that I have that I love.  Because I’m willing to bet you’d love a panini press as much as I love mine.  Ah, but then there is the cost of shipping.  Let me tell ya, those things are a tad on the heavy side.  Perhaps a practical item would make for a great prize.  A book?  A candle?  Kitchen towels?  Nah.  Too ordinary. 

     And then it hit me.

     If you’re reading my blog – chances are pretty good that you are one of two things.

       1. A mom

       2. Related to me.

     And since chances are good that you fit nicely into one of these categories I can say with nearly 100% assurance that a Target gift card is just the thing for you.  How do I know?  Well, if you are in the first category then you likely stop by Target on a weekly basis and picture how lovely the new Spring line of tableware would look on your dining room table for the upcoming Bible study brunch you’re hosting.  Or how cute those new ballet flats would be with the summer sundress you’ll be wearing to a wedding next month.  But shoot, if all else fails, you could certainly use it to buy household necesseties.  Toilet paper.  Dish soap.  Fabric softener sheets.  Oh yeah ladies, live it up.

     If you are in only the second category and not the first, then that makes you my gramps.  And, gramps, if you enter the giveaway, and happen to win, then you can certainly send the gift card back my way.  They have some cute summer tees I’ve had my eye on for awhile.

     Prize:  $25 Target Gift Card

     To enter:  leave a comment.  I know.  I’ve really raised the bar here.  Oh, be sure to leave your email address so I can contact you if you win.  Only enter once please.  I’ll choose a winner on Saturday. 

     To enter more giveaways this week, surf over here and enter away!

     What a day!  First finding out that I won $1,000 in the haiku contest and then, free eggs at the grocery store (yes it was the same store in which the infamous lettuce incident went down – I don’t have a lot of options).

     Apparently though, I have been bit by the lucky bug.  I can just hear the question whizzing through your minds right now: what is it with her and all these freebies? 

     I can’t say for sure, but I’m thinking it must have something to do with eggs.  The contest, you’ll remember, was sponsored by Egg Beaters.  And the free product at my fine (though arguably challenged in proper food handling procedures) grocery: eggs.  I’m no rocket scientist people, but I’m sensing a trend here.

     So the eggs were marked $2.49 in the case.  They rang up at $2.79.  I paid attention as the checker scanned them because after perusing my receipt last week I noticed that I was charged .30 too much.  You might be asking yourself if .30 is worth the trouble.  If you knew me well, you wouldn’t have to ask.

     I carefully check my grocery receipts each and every week.  And I honestly don’t remember when the last time I didn’t find a mistake was.  In most cases I’m overcharged a dollar and some cents.  One time though, after my visit to the customer service desk, I walked away with a $14 credit.  In my book, $14 ain’t chump change.  Especially when both my grocery and gas bills have gone up significantly over the past couple of months.

     So back to the check out.  I waited till the checker was done with my items and then:

     Me: The eggs rang up wrong.  They are marked $2.49 but they came up at $2.79.  That makes them free right? (I’m well-versed on their accuracy in scanning policy).

     Checker: I’ll have to do a price check.  (She sends the bagger to verify my claim).

     In the meantime I stand twiddling my thumbs as do the two people in line behind me.  I’m well aware of the their glaring eyes staring me down as their Ben & Jerry’s starts getting soft around the edges.  The checker, of course, isn’t the least bit deterred.  It’s a tactic.  But she’d have to come up with something better to intimidate this frugal Momma.

     Finally the bagger returns with my eggs.  “2.49″ she says, as she hands them back.  Next the checker pulls out her little sheet of paper and starts crafting a book about the barcode mix-up.

     I wait it out and in the end I get the eggs for free.  Don’t mess with me people.  I’m a stickler for accuracy in pricing. 

     And not only that.  I have no qualms over taking stuff back to the store when it doesn’t live up.  Starchy watermelons, corked wine, freezer-burned ice cream.  You name it, I’m not too proud to take it back.  I mean, seriously, I’m feeding a family of six and spending upwards of seven hundred bucks per month on food.  I know!  Seven hundred bones!  By golly, for that kind of money I expect my produce to be dusted with gold.  If not though, I at least expect the items in the store to be properly marked so I’m not unwillingly gouged into spending more than was advertised.  

     Yeah so, free eggs.  Free money from Egg Beaters.  I’m on a roll.

     You’ll have to excuse me now.  I think I’ll go have an omelet to celebrate. 

Guess what!  You remember that little haiku I told you about last week?  Well, I’m thrilled to say that I was the winner in the Mother’s Day haiku contest over at Rocks In My Dryer.  My thanks go out to Egg Beaters for sponsoring the contest and to Shannon (Rocks In My Dryer) for hosting it and especially for choosing my entry as one of the five finalists.  And of course a huge shout-it-from-the-rooftops kind of thanks to everyone who voted for me.  I really appreciate it!

Hmmm, now how to spend the winnings…

     I didn’t get a ton of great shots during the Mommy Blogger Disney weekend but I thought you might enjoy some of the fun photo highlights I did manage to snap.

     This is the Dessert Sampler we indulged in at Tutto Italia.  That, mind you, was brought to us minutes before we left the restaurant and headed to a huge spread of decadent options at the dessert reception and Illuminations viewing.  I haven’t stepped on the scale yet since I arrived home.  Yeah, um, maybe I’ll give it a couple more days…

     These are some of the contents of the gift bag I found in my room upon return from Epcot on the first night.  Isn’t that the cutest travel mug you’ve ever seen?!  I don’t know if you can tell but that is a mirror on it framed with sparkly little jewels that befit any coffee (or tea in my case) drinking princess.  We also received a La Nouba CD, a disposable camera, a portable computer storage thingamabob (pardon my technical terms), a pair of Mickey Mom ears and a luggage tag.     

Here I am snapping a silly photo of myself in the mirror just before heading out the door on the way to dinner at California Grill. 

     Snazzy ride huh?  Yeah.  We were impressed when we exited the lobby of the Beach Club and what did our wondering eyes did appear but three stretch limos driven by Mears.

     This was taken from the observation deck at the California Grill.  We had a DE-LIC-IOUS meal there.  I’d never been to this restaurant before so you’ll imagine how impressed I was when the server brought out sorbet in between courses to cleanse the palate.  Our delicious meal was followed up by a to-die-for dessert consisting of blood orange sorbet and chocolate lava cake.  Oh my.  I’m not typically a fan of chocolate cakes or brownies, but you haven’t lived until you’ve tried this cake and sorbet in unison. 

     Breakfast on our final morning was served buffet style at Cape May.  We enjoyed visits from Minnie, Goofy, and Chip & Dale who were all chillin’ in their beach attire.  My favorite offering was the Mickey waffles smothered in a berry compote.  Yum-O!

     After a quick tour of the new Family Suites at the All Stars Music resort we went our separate ways to enjoy a few free hours of touring at our leisure.  Having promised souvenirs to the kiddos I headed to Downtown Disney on a mission!  My girls are avid pin traders and they’re always looking to expand their collections and I, of course, am happy to help make their Disney dreams come true.  One of their other favorite things at Downtown Disney are the custom made treats available at Goofy’s Candy Co.  Since they couldn’t come along to order their own I was happy to bring them these candy covered pretzel rods home.  Steph and I also stopped by the very best counter service restaurant on property – the newly expanded Wolfgang Puck Express.  I was happy to see the same tempting menu and a much improved dining area.  Can’t wait to stop back by in September with the fam!

     So there ya have it.  Just a few fun pics I thought I’d share to give you a glimpse of my fabulous weekend at Disney.  I keep telling Jeff that if I’m not careful I’m going to get spoiled by all this first class treatment at Disney and not be able to go back as an average Jane. 

     Yeah right.  Not be able to go back.  That’s a good one.  

    Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Talk about a whirlwind.  I hit the floor running at 4 am on Friday morning and feel as though I’ve been spinning since.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m certainly not complaining.  I mean really.  What is there to complain about?  A trip to one of my absolute favorite spots on Earth?  The fine wine and dining I experienced there?  The opportunity to meet some of the women (Jo-Lynne and Stephanie) who inspired me to start my own blog?  Or maybe a weekend spent surrounded by a bunch of groovy blogging mommas where I learned tons of bloggity basics from some of the very best?  I know.  It’s a tough life.  

     What’s more is that as one of the two Disney Mom Panelists present, my incessant chatter about the ins and outs of planning a Disney vacation was not only tolerated, but appreciated!  How cool is that?  It was so fun to be able to share tips and tricks with all of the fabulous momma bloggers Disney invited in for the weekend.  Though I must admit that I’m still baffled by the sheer number of Disney novices out there.  C’mon people, jump on the Mickey train here!  I’m tellin’ ya – you’re so missing a good thing.

     Anyway.

     Can we talk airports for a minute?  If there is one thing of which I’m certain, it is that I am not, and will never be, a road warrior.  Air travel is just not my thing.  Here are my issues:

     1. I’m a germaphobe.  I have to try to avoid thinking about all the germs and whatnot floating around in the cabin of the plane.  The recirculated air.  The tin can of a toilet.  The close quarters with sneezing, coughing, nose-blowing strangers.  Ick.  It sorta makes my skin crawl.

     2. The brainiacs at the baggage claim who clamor around the spinning belt-o-bags and form an impenetrable human wall-o-bodies drive me mad.  It just makes no sense.  Imagine how much lovelier an experience suitcase retrieval would be if we all just took a few steps back and approached the turn-style only upon sighting our bag.  Apparently this is far too radical of a concept for the average American traveler to grasp.

     3. Long flights (like the 3.5 hour one from Atlanta to Tucson) are, shall we say, a challenge for me.  Maybe I’ve got ADHD or something but I can barely handle sitting in one place for so long.  It’s not that I didn’t bring on-board entertainment.  Books, music, magazines and the like only last me so long though.  And without Jeff around for me to pester, I tend to exhaust my supply of patience fairly quickly. 

     4.  The control thing.  Waiting on delayed planes is not my strong suit.  I’m not a terribly huge fan of placing my life in the hands of complete strangers either.  There I go again, splitting hairs.  I just don’t enjoy the utter relinquishment of control that flying involves.  It’s another of those limitations that is coherent with the type-A in me. 

     So, you can understand how happy I was to step foot out of the airport last night.  Only recently has this spot of ours in Arizona started to feel like home.  The cacti and bright moon in the desert sky last night were welcome sights for my weary eyes. 

     I love Disney World.  I loved hanging with the momma bloggers and catching up with the Cast Members I met in December.  I loved the Beach Club.  But boy, did I love coming home.  My sleeping babies.  My husband, giddy to see me.  My bed.  My comfy, rarely quiet, often messy home.  There’s just nothing like it. 

Okay, so I thought I’d try out a little something on Fridays. I’ll give it a whirl a few times and see how it goes. If it’s a hit, we’ll keep it. If not, eh, no biggie.

So here goes…Finish This Sentence Friday.

Today’s offering:

If I could be anywhere on Earth at this very moment I’d be ________________________________.

I’m going to cheat on this one because right now I’m either on my way to Walt Disney World or already there. And, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure there really is anywhere else I’d rather be.

At least for today.