I got such the deal on the cutest patio dinnerware on Friday night.  Now before you run out to try to score the same deal I got, I should tell you: it was a one time thing.

     My kids had their annual community fair at the school on Friday night.  This event isn’t one of those things that you attend because your daughter’s best friend’s mom is the President of the PTA and you know if you don’t go your daughter’s sleepover invites will soon dwindle.  Oh no.  Our peeps do an awesome job of organizing this really cool event each and every year.  They do bounce houses, cotton candy, pickles on a stick, you know, the whole nine yards.  And I wish I could take some credit, but alas, I’m one of those miserable moms who sits on the sidelines and lets everybody else do the cold calls for donations from local businesses.  I know, I know.  I need to get involved.  But before you turn up your nose, hear me out.  I used to volunteer in the classroom every week.  I’ve done the whole grading a trillion papers and cutting-out-foam-stars-until-your-hand-falls-off-from-the-cramping thing.  And then my son was born. 

     Well.  He was.

     Okay, so anyway back to the community fair.  It really is a well-planned and very organized event that raises a ton of money for the school each year.  And while it may be true that I don’t pull my weight in the planning and executing of the event, between the six of us we drop enough cash there every year to buy math textbooks for the entire third grade.

     My kids clamor over the sold-by-the-slice pieces of Papa Johns as if it’s the be all end all.  I mean, it’s not like I slave over homemade pizza at home each and every week, but whatever.  I think it has something to do with the can of soda that comes along with each slice at the carnival.  All for only 4 tickets.  Soda is pretty much public enemy number one in our house so you can understand the excitement.  Jeff and I opt for Mexican delicassies over the greasy, hours-old slices of pepperoni pie.  So what if they serve the carne asada through the window of a restaurant on wheels?  It’s a carnival, so we live a little.  Of course then there’s the cotton candy and the snow cones and the kettle corn and the face painting.  But that, my friends, is only the tip of the iceberg.  The show stopper is the silent auction.  That’s where we drop the big bucks.

     When it comes to the auction, Jeff has a method.  Last year he was the successful high bidder on the highly sought after gymnastics birthday party package.  So this year when I begged and pleaded that he win me the day at the spa package, he was eager, to say the least.  

     Jeff put his method into practice at about two minutes till closing time.  He meandered over to the bidding sheet and perused the competition.  He tends to be a bit on the competitive side so I worried momentarily when he gave the evil eye to the PE teacher, but then of course I surmised that as the PE teacher, surely she could hold her own. 

     Then came the one minute warning.

     As the horde of class moms drew in their breath he surprised me by turning his back and walking away from the table.  Hello?  Babe we’re talking facial, massage and pedicure here, ‘member?  I briefly considered taking up my own post among the elbowing crowd of facial-deprived women but thought better of leaving the children unattended.  

     At precisely that moment I caught his attention and the glimmer of battle I recognized in his eyes renewed my trust.  He turned once again and started towards the table, his gaze set squarely on the bidding sheet.  Time slowed and somewhere in the distance I heard the Rocky theme song come slowly to life.  And then:

     “Put your pencils down.  Bidding is closed.”

     His trance was broken and he searched the crowd until he found my eyes.  First, he was a deer in the headlights and then, realizing his folly, a sad puppy dog.

     He made his way back to me and, and through broken speech, questioned how his method had failed him.  ”But.  They never gave.  What about?  Thirty second warning.  Not fair.  I thought…” 

     In the end, we lost the day at the spa package.  Oh but we didn’t lose everything.  I won the perfect patio dinnerware set for only twelve bucks.  I know.  Score!  Not to mention the Chuck E. Cheese-esque trinkets that the girls came home with.  Chinese yo-yo’s, sparkly slime in a tub, gaudy bejeweled rings.  Oh yeah.  We came home from that carnival a whole lot richer my friends.