Cass is getting a new parapro (one-on-one educational aide) tomorrow.
While Jeff and I were grocery shopping last Friday morning I got a call on my cell from the mom of one of the little girls who was in Cassidy’s class last year. The mom asked if I had a second to talk and then proceeded to tell me that when she was dropping her own kids at school that morning she had witnessed Cassidy being jerked from the playground equipment by her parapro.
Strike one.
The mom approached the parapro and told her that her behavior was inappropriate and that she (the mom) would be calling Cassidy’s mom (me) and informing me of what she (the mom) saw.
You can imagine my reaction to this little piece of news.
Those who know me well know that I’m not one to hold my tongue.
And when it comes to this little girl, well, let’s just say I’m a tad bit protective.
Long story short:
The principal was called. Our feelings were made crystal clear. By the end of the school day, the parapro was relieved of her duties (as far as Cass is concerned anyway). She’ll still be working at the school, only with another child.
I have mixed feelings on this.
I don’t know this woman really well, but from what I have seen she is an older, very gentle, very mild, very nice woman. I had a hard time picturing her jerking anybody around, much less a child. But when this incident happened, it seems to me the right thing to do would have been for her to approach her supervisor and let her know what happened. That way, the supervisor would have been prepared for the call from Cassidy’s parents.
She wasn’t prepared though. Because the parapro didn’t tell her what happened.
Strike Two.
Then, over the weekend, I came to find out that earlier last week (well before this incident on Friday morning) some of the staff at the school had been asking whether the parapro’s “handling” of Cassidy was appropriate or not.
As in, apparently this type of thing has happened more than once since this school year began on July 16th.
Well, now obviously, that is so totally strike three.
I’m not sure yet how I’m going to proceed since having acquired this information. A talk with the principle is definitely in order. After that though, I don’t know yet.
I can say that I am pleased with the new parapro Little Miss Cass will be working with for the rest of the year. She is much younger than the original. That wouldn’t be important but for the fact that Cassidy is wound pretty tight and it takes a supersonic energy level to keep up with her. The new gal is also very sweet and seems genuinely interested in helping Cass to progress rather than to just make it through the day.
As for what to do about the other stuff, well, I’m thinking on it. And praying about it.
It’s not something I want to just ignore because that isn’t doing anybody any favors. But I don’t want to go on a witch hunt either. It’s proving to be a fine line. One that I’m not sure how to walk.
I’m so thankful though for the courage of the mom who did what she did.
And equally disheartened that someone I trusted would treat my daughter that way.
Repeatedly.
What would you do?
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my goodness- I think you are doing the right thing. I just can’t believe you weren’t informed of the earlier incident(s). I hope the new gal is just who Cassidy needs!
Steph
You did the right thing. We have to be advocates for our children and make sure they are protected.
That is terrible! I think you are doing the right thing by approaching the principal and having a discussion about whether or not this woman should be working with anyone at all. If she doesn’t like her job, then she needs to find another one. She probably didn’t say anything to her supervisor because she knew she was wrong. Ultimately, you wouldn’t want her treating another student like that and she obviously has a history this year of acting inappropriately.
Good luck dealing with this difficult situation. I hope that Cass will love her new parapro and make amazing progress this year working with her.
Thank goodness for the mom who didn’t look the other way. We send our kids to school trusting they will be safe — you were absolutely right in your actions. I would probably continue to keep an eye on this parapro. Hate to say it but based on her actions (or lack there of), it doesn’t sound like this was the first time she acted like this with a child.
Number one is Cassidy’s happiness and safety. I know you’ve gone down this road before. Definately, a visit with the principal is a priority. And maybe, have a conference with the parapro to hear her “take” on the situation. Talk to other parents of children who have been involved with this parapro to see if they ever had any problems. Don’t you have ARD meetings (at least that’s what we called it in Texas – assessment and review meetings every so often.) It’s time to call one of those. There should be a supervisor over the parapro – not just the principal – but a Special Ed. Supervisor. I’d suggest talking to them. Get all the facts.
First, Im so glad the other mom told you what was happening. Second, I think you should have a face to face conversation with the principal. Perhaps the lady needs to have a record of these incidents in her permanent file. I would even like to see the teachers who questioned her actions document what they say. Since Cass already has a different para it wont change the outcome but perhaps it may save someone else’s child from going through this experience.
Im glad you blogged about this because it brings attention so that we as parents can look out for all kids at school.
I would be so upset by this…obviously! There’s no reason that anyone should have treated any child like that. And if she’s done this more than once, there’s a problem…my question would be has she done this to another child? I’m not sure what I would do to be honest. I’m praying that God give you clarity on what to do in this situation.
I feel for you. Aren’t you so glad that other mom is such a good friend to you. To walk up to that woman right then and there took guts. Hang on to her. My favorite teacher of all four of my kids once said to me that her biggest regret in being a mother was in not standing up to her son’s teachers more. This from a teacher herself. That has always given me strength. I know you’ll find the right answer.
I would request a conference with the principal and the old parapro because I’d want to know why the parapro did what she did. Not that any behavior from my child would justify what the parapro did, but I’d want to know more about the situation anyway. Or maybe that would just make me more mad, I don’t know :). I think it’s a hard situation since you didn’t actually witness anything and are going by the word of someone else, not that you can’t trust what the other mom said, but still that makes it trickier.
Thank goodness you were told about the situation and could change it immediately! I guess I’d have to agree with some of the other comments that suggest talking to the old parapro and the prinicipal together. Her behavior is unexcusable, but I’m curious as to why she hasn’t spoken up yet. Maybe she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong, it which case, steps might need to be taken to ensure that she’s not doing that to her newly assigned child. Regardless, I think you need to get her side, but be sure you have a neutral party there (like the principal), in case she gets upset.
I’m glad Cass is in good hands now, how awful for you to hear by way of others! I would probably share my information with the parents of the new child under her care. They should know.
Wow, I’m so glad your daughter is in better hands. My two cents: If you pursue this further, you’re not a witch hunt. Multiple people were concerned about her behavior (not just a protective parent) and I’m concerned for the child she is now assigned. Maybe I’m naive but I’m surprised the school is keeping her. I’m sure other parents would not want her working with their children if they knew these circumstances. Good luck!
If it were me, I would pursue it further. What happens if she continues this behavior with another child.
The other Mom really needs to be commended for what she did. Not many would have stepped up to stop something like that. And then to follow through with you…….that was fantastic.
Good luck!
You did the right thing of course concerning Cassidy. I’m don’t think I’d want to talk to this woman at all. Imo, there is enough evidence from both another parent and staff that this woman isn’t doing her job properly. I do think you should push this issue because even if she isn’t watching Cassidy anymore, she will still be caring for another child. I feel it’s important to make sure she isn’t mistreating any other children. I wouldn’t push for her to get fired (yet) but she needs to be on some kind of probation and watched very closely when working with other children. I also think the parents of the children in her care should also be notified in some way, not given details but maybe notified she is on probation. I would absolutely want to know is someone that was caring for my child had previously treated another child badly so that I could watch for any signs of a repeat.
I am so, so sorry this happened. How heartbreaking for you to realize that it was a repeated occurence. I don’t feel like you are on a witch hunt at all…and I agree that it is important to bring it up and make sure that she doesn’t treat any other children that she is assigned to like this. It is a fine line, like you stated, but I think you are handling it well. Keep us updated…I’ll be praying for you!
I think you have done what is best for Cassidy, of course, and it is good that the school knows about this. Now, the problem that has presented itself is that this woman (the previous parapro) will be working with another child, and unfortunately, while her aggressive tendencies may be quelled for a short while, they will most likely resurface in the future. And there will be another child, with somewhat limited abilities to report the abuse, that is subjected to this. I think I would really push this issue with the school system. I would not want her working with children, period. This is not a witch hunt, this is about treating our children–all of them–with dignity, and respect, and kindness and love.
Darcie, you are heartbroken over what happened to your little girl. And she is probably not the first child that this has happened to. But you can see to it that she is the last. Good luck, whatever you decide.
Oh Darcie. I’m sorry.
Can you please thank your friend for me? For doing the difficult but RIGHT thing in holding the para accountable and telling you?
Inexcusable. Anything short of her being dismissed is unacceptable in my book. Abuse is abuse.
My 2¢. What if her new para had a history of treating other kids poorly. Wouldn’t you want to know?
Yes, you did the right thing…yes, call the principal and sorry I do think you should go on a little witch hunt.
That person should not be working with any children….”special” like yours or otherwise…I wouldn’t want any child
treated like that….Depending on what the principal says…especially since this has happened before…I’m sorry but that
person should not be working with children AT ALL! I feel especially strong about this and she just gives us teachers and
others who work with kids a bad name! Ugghh! You go girl…do whatever you have to!
Definitely follow through with a meeting and plenty of questions so that you get a complete picture. Also I’d want to know from the principal how the school will guarantee that this type of situation will not happen again. I think I’d try to work in some frequent unannounced visits to the school to observe.I am so sorry to hear about this and hope that some good can come from it.
I’m so, so glad that this mom did not look the other way on this. I can’t imagine how you must feel to find out someone has been mistreating your daughter – extremely ill, I imagine. I hope you can gain some comfort from knowing she is with someone more caring now.
It seems to me that if staff have to be asked if what this woman is doing is appropriate, then they know that it is not and should do something about that. Where that leaves you, I’m not sure.
Wow. I am so sorry this happened to your daughter. I am also so impressed that the mom had the guts to confront the parapro. That is truly commendable.
You absolutely should have a face to face with the principal. That behavior is just not acceptable for any reason. Ever. I agree with Soliolquy… the new parents whose child has been placed with this parapro need you to see this through!
I’ll be praying for you for wisdom and courage!
I can’t add anything better than what these commenters have already said, but I wanted you to know that I think you are doing all the right things!
I wish this hadn’t happened to Cassidy, but I am grateful that the other mom called you to let you know what had happened.
I am surprised the school let the older parapro be involved with Cassidy when there were already questions about whether or not the older parapro’s behavior was appropriate. I would like to think that schools would not use the wait and see approach when it comes to a child’s safety? And then, why reassign the parapro to some other child? If she can’t positively help Cassidy, how can she help any child? Moving her to another child makes no sense to me. I will be thinking of you as you work your way through this. I am hoping that Cassidy gets the parapro that she deserves tomorrow!
Oh. My. Word.
The momma did the right thing.
You’ve done the right things.
Please do not let this para get her hands on any other students.
I watched this happen in the school I taught in for years. The paras (both, seperate instances) had been fantasic paras for years. Years. Then they got to an age where they just wanted to be done with kids – BURNED OUT. They needed to retire. Should have been MADE to retire. That’s not how the state works however. So they should have quit. They didn’t. Unfortunately.
Please stay strong enough to follow this all the way through. For the next students sake.
You so deserve the Kick A$$ award you received from Soliloquy, Mama Bear!
So, what happened with this….did you take the issue farther…update us!
Oh my. I think I would be ticked that nobody had clued me in earlier – and extremely grateful to the mom who did do just that. Wow. I think you’re doing the right thing – we all have to advocate for our kids, and make sure that those caring for them are doing so in a loving and appropriate manner. I hope the new parapro works out! :)
I feel for you my friend. However, you are doing the right thing. Jessica had two bad aides working with her. The first was removed from the self contained classroom because she could not work with autistic children but apparently Jess is not autistic enough. She was not rehired the next year.
The second was known as the ice queen and I was stupid not to scream like a bansheeh that the aide was not working. To top matters off, the regular teacher was told to take a stronger lead and did not.
The main thing to remember is that school unfortunately is a business and so if something happens to the aide, it is not personal. Also, she is an adult. She needs to bend not the child in this case.
Hang in there my friend!
Love,
Beth
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