Doctors Visits Simplified
I’m instituting a policy. I’m thinking of printing it up and handing out copies to the multiple doctors we visit throughout the year. That way the dentists, orthodontists, ophthalmologists, endocrinologists, pediatricians, optometrists, audiologists, and gynecologists we visit will know my expectations straight up.
I imagine it will look a little something like this:
Darcie’s Office Visit Expectations
Appointments:
Appointments are made for a reason. That reason being to save time for both of us. We mutually agree to take the time out of our busy schedules to sit down for a few moments and discuss the issues that ail me. Or my children. And occasionally my husband. When scheduling my appointment, please do so only after taking into consideration the realistic amount of time it will take to see patients who have appointments before me. This simple act will go a long way in making both of our days run more smoothly.
With regard to my appointment, please do not ask that I arrive 15 minutes before our appointment time. That, you see, negates the point. How about we both are ready at the agreed upon appointment time. It’s a crazy concept, but I think it just might work.
* Disclaimer - Doctors who keep me waiting past the agreed upon appointment time may be asked to follow me home and wait in my living room until I find a more convenient time for the exam. This is entirely at my discretion, but it’ll probably be sometime after dinner, and dishes, and bedtime stories. If you’re lucky I may be able to fit you in before my blog time.
Cancellations
If you scheduled poorly and are suddenly bogged down by a waiting room full of upset patients I kindly request that you call me as soon as you realize your error. Although 24 hours notice is ideal, if this is not possible, call as soon as you can so that I don’t waste all of my time driving into your office only to be told that you are running really behind and unless I choose to reschedule I will incur a lengthy wait in aforementioned waiting room.
Lengthy Waits
I understand that occasional scheduling oversights can occur for a variety of reasons. When you jam pack your appointment book without regard to the poor saps like me who are forced to entertain toddlers in the waiting room for hours on end, my precious time begins fleeting away like Prozac samples at a depression convention. I tend to get a tad bit miffed under those circumstances and I do hope you will look the other way when I give up and just let the kids tap on the aquarium glass. Even if it does give the fish headaches, I trust you will understand seeing as how the fish likely don’t carry health insurance that allows you to bill 60 bucks for a band-aid.
I track doctors who repeatedly show blatant disregard for my time. I will let the first of such occasions slide. The second time, I will charge a $25 courtesy fee (and yes, payment is expected at the time of service). Three strikes and you’re out. I will let the receptionist know that I am discharging you as a healthcare provider. You should know that I am not above holding all of your People magazines from the waiting room hostage. You will have thirty days to turn over my full and complete medical record. Once you do, I will let the People go. Unharmed of course.
I trust that you will make every effort to be respectful of my time and that you agree to the terms and conditions set forth herein. I look forward to working together to create a healthy and time-conscience environment for the both of us.
Your partner in health,
Darcie
Love this! What about a grass roots campaign to distribute to every mom!
Add Rheumatologists to that list and I’m signing up for the grass roots campaign! Love it!
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life really worked like that? I can’t stand waiting at a dr’s office. The worst is when they call you back to the room, and you then sit there and wait forever. My old gynecologist was notorious for that. I’d sit there shivering in the stupid paper gown for close to an hour. I wish I could’ve charged her!
I know how you feel! It’s frustrating to have to wait, yet I just love the policy that some doctors have that if you’re more than 15 minutes late, they have to reschedule your appointment. They can run late, but we can’t!
Sonny has been know to leave after a 30 minute wait and tell them that his time is as valuable as theirs and to reschedule when they can see him on a timely basis. For that particular doctor, he never had to wait again!
So true. I have about a 20 minute window with my kids in a waiting room before my stress level rises. I wonder if medical professionals think about this when they’re waiting for their own appointments. Do you think this happens to them?
I love your “contract!” It is AWESOME!
Can I have a copy to send to my doctors too?
I have to say we are really blessed right now to not have this problem. The only doc where I may have to wait is my OB-GYN, and I don’t mind the wait there. It’s understandable. Never know when a baby might need you!
I agree with EVERYTHING that you said…..for sure!
Our last pediatrician, which is one of the reasons we see a new one, would have us wait in that little exam room for over an hour. When he finally came in he acted as if he was too busy to answer any of my questions….and once told me my kids were “bad” and “acting out” and needed to see a therapist! I would LOVE to stick them in a tiny room, hungry (cause you can’t eat in there and who would have thought a check up would take two hours) and close them in for hours on end. Let’ s see what kind of mood THEY would be in!
I agree all the way. My last dr’s visit they called and asked me to come in early due to a cancellation and put me in the dreaded room, where I sat for over 1/2 hour. The nurse took the blood pressure and guess what, it was elevated, WONDER WHY!
Too Funny, let me know how that works out for you…
Amen.
Perfect!
Wouldn’t it be great if they thought our time was valuable as theirs?
This is hilarious. And oh! so true!
I think you should type this up and hand it to the receptionist every time he is late! Good Job!
I FEEL THE FRUSTRATION ABOUT UNATTENDED CHILDREN!
I work from home and have an hourly rate for clients. I’ve often wondered what would happen if I submitted a bill for my waiting time…
But then again, not having a whining toddler with me and having to turn my mobile off it becomes an excellent opportunity to just sit and read a good book where no-one can find me!
If only we could!
I totally agree with your policy! You hit the nail right on the head…every time I have an “appointment” we aren’t seen by the doctor for at least a full hour later! It is insane, but if you show up 15 minutes past your “appointment time” then you have to reschedule.
When did that become fair? Usually half the time we are waiting I notice that the doctor is just in her office–doing what?
You know sometimes if my youngest starts to have a meltdown I just try to comfort her but I try to let her shrieks of impatience ring out all over the doctors office. Then maybe they will service us a little faster.
Kalisha