Another Year Bites the Dust

Jeff and I wrote our own vows.  It was his idea.  One that I was opposed to at first.  But after giving it some thought I realized he was right.  Nothing about our relationship was standard, so why should our vows be?

Having already been divorced I felt like I had a slight advantage when it came to the vow writing.  Not because I was an expert at keeping them obviously, but because I was very aware of what I wanted to do differently.  Of the things I needed to work harder at.  Of the sacrifices I was willing to make.

I remember sitting up in my bed, pen and paper in hand, and searching my soul for the right words.  Of course I wanted to convey everything I felt for this amazing man who was about to become my husband.  But I also thought it important to assure him that I understood the commitment.   That I had carefully considered every aspect of this new beginning and what it meant to be in it for the long haul.

I try to read over those vows every year about this time.

And every time I realize that I’m not exactly living up to what I said I’d do.

I promised patience and understanding.  Yet, of all the people under this roof, the patience I offer to my husband is far less than that I offer everyone else.

I promised to share the load.  But you’ve all been witness to me complaining about the garbage bag that goes un-replaced after the trash gets taken out for the night.

I promised encouragement.  I have no excuse then as to why it seems so much easier to point out faults than to give praise and appreciation.

I’ve fallen short in so many ways. 

And yet he still treats me like gold.  Like I can do no wrong.

He is the greatest man I’ve ever known.  A loving father, even to children with whom he shares no DNA.  A giving husband.  A hard worker, eager to provide for our family. 

I love him for his quirky ways.  For his sensitivity.  For his generosity.  For his contemplative side.  I love him for his eagerness to make me laugh.  For his insecurities.  For his gorgeous brown eyes. 

I once told him that he was brilliant and that he had a joie de vivre unlike anyone I’d ever known. 

It still holds true.

Happy Anniversary baby.  I love you.  All the time in the world.