Jeff said I should blog about all of the ways in which I am a freak.
What are you talking about? Give me an example.
I’m not going to deny my freak status. But I needed something to go on. General freakishness does not a blog topic make.
Like, how you worry about things.
Like what? What do I worry about that equates to me being freaky?
Like not putting 200 pounds on the top bunk.
That’s not freaky. The kids’ bunk beds weren’t made to withhold 200 pounds. They’re made to withhold, like I dunno 80 or something. And when I changed the sheets today I had to climb up on the top bunk and I noticed it was way more wobbly than it used to be.
See?
See what? That’s so not freaky.
Blog about how you freak out when Jayce is choking.
Jayce doesn’t choke anymore.
Blog how you used to freak out when he was choking.
Right, because I’m surely the only mother who freaks out when her infant son is choking. Uh huh. That totally proves your point.
Blog about how you don’t want me to take Jayce camping in the desert because you’re afraid he’ll step on a snake.
Hmmm. My only son camping, primitively mind you, in the desert. Miles from a hospital. Surrounded by rattlesnakes on all sides. Totally a legitimate concern.
It’s not like the rattlesnakes are going to stage a sneak attack.
He might happen upon one.
He won’t.
He might.
Blog about how you always freak out when you get something in your eye.
Who doesn’t?
I don’t.
You’re the freak then. Eyelashes were meant to protect the eye. Not swim around inside of it. I could scratch a cornea that way. And anyways, I don’t freak out. I just head directly to a mirror so I can remove the eyelash.
But you won’t let me talk to you while you remove the lash because you say it breaks your concentration.
It does.
You’re proving my point.
You don’t even have a point.
My point is that you’re a freak.
News flash. Have you not seen the Me and My Spasticity category on my sidebar? I know I’m a freak. These things though? These things have nothing to do with my freakishness.
Okay.
Seriously. My blog peeps will back me up on this one. Chocking children and snakebites are legitimate concerns.
And the top bunk collapsing?
Legitimate.
Swimming eyelashes?
You gonna teach me braille when I lose my eyesight?
Yep. But we won’t start at the letter A. We’ll start at F. Then R. E. A….
Oh just be quiet.
I’m just sayin’.
Go away and let me blog.
You gonna blog about being a freak?
Actually I thought I’d blog about withholding. Withholding for a freakishly long time. How’s that sound sweetie?
(Crickets chirping).
I thought so.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, it will come as no surprise to you I’m sure, I agree with you. None of the above fall into the spaz category.
love this post. absolutely love it!
I think I “freak” out at all those things, too! So, I’ve got your back!
I’ve got your back too. I’d think about those things. Well, except for rattlesnakes. I don’t think we have those in our area. I hated when the kids started solids and feeding themselves. I never felt comfortable leaving their side for the fear of hearing that gagging sound.
hahahahaha! This completely cracked me up. And none — NONE — of that stuff is freakish. And I know, because I’m a teensy bit freaky, myself.
Oh my, I am afraid I am with Jeff on this one… sorry babe.
Uh… if those things are bad enough to make you a freak, I think it would be funny if he met a real freak! I totally get them all! I’ve never thought about an eyelash scratching my cornea, but I do get them out quickly because they hurt!
I wonder how long you have to withhold for it to be considered freakish…I won’t sit on the toddler bed – weight restriction, you know.
I laughed from beginning to end. We as moms all have our things that make us freak out.
If you’re a freak, then I’m definitely a freak. I like the withholding part. (Snicker.)
Had so much fun today. Your house is amazing, your little guy is adorable and you make some killer muffins. Must do it again.
Sure you didn’t loose a dog?
backing you up, woman, totally!
Freaky? Not so much.
Smart. Yes, that’s it. Smart.
It’s no wonder I like you so well. =)
This was so funny. I totally freak out about these things too – so I must be a freak as well.