In case you’re a tad slow on the uptake and have yet to find the perfect gift for your sweetie, I thought I’d give you some food for thought. Here are the 5 ways in which I plan to spoil my Valentine today.
5. Not give him a word of crud about the damages done to my van yesterday when he hit a dog on his way home from dropping the kids at school. Damages in excess of $800 btw. Talk about restraint.
4. Let him choose tonight’s date night restaurant. The fact that he’s sure to pick my personal favorite has nothing to do with my selfless gesture.
3. Pretend that the facial he sent me off for yesterday was absolutely blissful. I won’t even mention that the aesthetician used equate brand (a la Wal-Mart) body lotion on. my. face.
2. Not attempt to pour myself into the “outfit” that I gave him for our first V Day together. I fear the changes that have occurred since then would effectively scare even Cupid away.
1. Take the funky diaper I just changed all the way out to the bin instead of tossing it into the garage where it would usually ferment for hours before he finds it and carries it at arm’s length to the receptacle.
I know what you’re thinking. I’m sorry though. I’m already taken.
Happy Heart Day to you and yours.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
dude…the dog hit me…a lot like that bicyclist a couple years back. I must be magnetic or something.
oh, and for the record, I feel worse about hitting the dog than I do about the biker.
I’m guessing the dog lost that battle!
Nothing bothers me more than when salons cut corners and use cheap lotion, especially body lotion on your face. Wtf? I wouldn’t do that at home, so why would they think it’s okay to do that to someone who paid for it?
You are funny. Love the last line.
And I want to know where in the world you went for a facial??? Equate from Walmart? Thats just not right…you could do that from home.
OH and so sorry about the van!!!
Equate body lotion on your face? Oh my word. Hopefully the relaxation factor made up for it…maybe???
I’m curious what your favorite restaurant is….
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Um, how’s the dog?
Perhaps you should have left the aesthetician a tip of a WalMart coupon.
And no fermented diapers for him? Wow, that must be love!
Oh my – body lotion on your face? What kind of “spa” was this? Any happy endings? LOL!
Enjoy the dinner – at least you’re getting out. I guess I can’t complain. The husband is going to cook tonight. Happy Valentines!
Too funny!
I’m with Jen…what kind of spa was this?!
Hope you have a great dinner!
Diaper? What? What happened to the big boy panties? ;)
Have a great night!
LOL. You’re a gem. ;-) It’s been a pretty sucky Valentines around here, although in good news, no one has puked today.
Oh my – there is nothing worse than a bad facial! Hope it wasn’t expensive.
Thanks for keeping it real. After all, we all can’t live in fantasy land where all of our routines go out the window for a day of romance.
The new Erma Bombeck lives in AZ!
Thanks for always making me smile!
In Jeff’s defense, the biker really kinda hit him, it is funny to think back at that, but yea, you are a magnet for things, like that, I should know, I am too.
XOXO
How were those margaritas?
Oh, poor dog. I hope it wasn’t a family pet…
Darcie, the way you indulge you sweetie on Valentine’s day sounds a lot like the way I indulged mine…poor guys. I did make a fantastic shrimp cocktail, though…that should count for something, right?
Oh too funny. Way to keep it real!
Steph
haha that cracked me up! :-) Especially the one about the diaper. Seriously, I hope he realizes what a gem that gift is! :-) happy valentine’s day!
{chuckle}
Hope you had a good v-day! =)
Haha…very good! I can’t believe they used Equate lotion on your face…ewww.
#1 — Ah-ha! Another reason I can brag about living in this tundra we call Minnesota. Poopy diapers freeze in the garage! Well, for 5 months out of the year anyway.
I don’t know how I missed this post, but I did.
As for the dog, Jeff good for you…so many people give in to instinct and put themselves in harm’s way to save it.
Here’s my dog story: 7 months pregnant I was driving a country road in pitch darkness when a dog pops out of nowhere in front of me and an oncoming vehicle.
The other vehicle swerved to the curbside to avoid the dog (because we each couldn’t swing over center or we’d hit each other) and ended up going into the ditch.
I, on the other hand, drove right into it. And congratulated myself for avoiding what instinct told me to do, which would have been to try to avoid the dog by swing right off the road, placing me and baby-to-be in harm’s way.
Now perhaps my self-congratulations is tempered by the fact that the dog I hit was a pitbull who was used to running loose in our neighbourhood. Whatever. I think it was the right move any way you slice it.
So kudos to you for showing that when placed in a tough road situation you will let reason, not instinct, guide your actions.
And for the record, the dog *completely* ran into me too!!!
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