This week I learned that if a federal investigator calls your house wanting to set up an appointment to meet, you shouldn’t panic or jump to conclusions.
His call doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with your taxes.
Or the illegal aliens you hired to build the casita out back.
Just kidding about the illegals. We don’t even have a casita. Honest.
Back to my life lesson though.
I learned that federal investigators are the ones who, well, investigate people who have security clearances.
I also learned that federal investigators are very interested in what an ex-wife has to say with regard to the ivestigatee.
Lucky for the investigatee in question this ex-wife’s child support is up to date.
If you know me at all though you know full well that I couldn’t let this opportunity pass without having a little fun with aforementioned investigatee.
Me (on the phone to investigatee): Hi.
Investigatee: Hi. What’s up?
Me: Hey listen, I’ve got that federal investigator here and I have a question for you.
Investigatee: Okay. I’ve probably got an answer.
Me: I’ve tried and tried but for the life of me I cannot remember the name of that buddy of yours. Was it Sergei Varishnakof? Something like that wasn’t it?
Investigatee: What? What are you talking about?
Me: You know. That friend of yours. Sergei wasn’t it? The one who worked with the KGB?
Investigatee: (crickets chirping)
Me: Hello? Um….hello?
(Telltale clicking sound on the receiver.)
Me again: Oh come on. I kid. You know it was funny.
Operator: If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help…
One last thing I learned: Investigatees aren’t easily amused.
As usual, Jo-Lynne {Musings of a Housewife} is sponsoring the What I Learned This Week carnival. Click your way over to link up and/or peruse a plethora of knowledge nuggets.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Funny! You and I would get along fabulously. Seriously. Thanks for the laugh.
You are a jokester. What’s a casita?
Heh. Love it!
Well, even if he didn’t find the phone conversation funny, I was completely amused! LOL!
HA!!! I *so* would have done that!
We were all ‘looked into’ because of my BIL’s job too, and we made lots of jokes that only we thought were funny. Some people.
Did you really pull that? Funny!
hahahaha!! Funny stuff girl! =)
Oooh, you’re nasty! (In a I-totally-wish-I-was-just-like-you way, of course.)
Too funny! Way to think on your feet!
Archie was his Americanized name, right?
shame on you, but oh so funny!
You have a WICKED sense of humor….and I like it!
You are hilarious!
You are funny!
Hey, I heard y’all are having a heat wave over there…got your spring tan yet?
So I guess you are no longer at the top of the list of anyone needing a recommendation or reference?
Too funny! I wouldn’t have been able to keep from cracking up long enough to make the phone call.
? ?????, ??? ?? ??????????? ??? ???…
(I hear you have been asking about me…)
-Sergei
Aw nuts! It wouldn’t post correctly. I had it written in Russian…
You are so funny! I can’t think that fast on the spot. :-)
Too funny!!! What a hoot.