Feb
03
     
One Handed Monkeys and Drinking Games
Posted (Darcie) in Things I've Learned

I’ve got three more tidbits of knowledge to pass along to you this week.

I know.

I amaze even myself.

So, without further ado, three things I learned on Sunday:

1. If you go to the grocery store on Super Bowl Sunday you will most certainly be sorry.  And not just because the checkout line wraps around the perimeter of the store and you will probably win the lottery of being squished in between the rotisserie chicken warmer and the guy who couldn’t wait until he got to the car to start munching on his extra crispy pork rinds.  No wait – it gets better.  Chances are that by the time you arrive all of the early churchgoers (or worse, church ditchers) will have already bought out every last one of the limes that you so desperately need so that your husband can whip up his special house margaritas.  There will, however, be plenty of those itty bitty key limes in stock.  The key limes though?  It’d take a small army of one-handed monkeys to squeeze enough of them to produce enough juice.  I don’t know why the monkeys are one handed, just go with me on this one.

2. When you don’t have enough limes to make margaritas, shots are the next best thing.  Especially if you make up a Super Bowl related drinking game.

3. If you play a Super Bowl related drinking game, you should learn the rules of football before agreeing to anything.  If, for instance, your well-meaning husband cons you into taking a shot every time a penalty is called, I advise you to pass on his selfless offer and instead, locate a store that has limes in stock.  Just steer clear of the pork rind dude; his breath will. be. hummin’.

Consider yourself warned.

Check out what the rest of the class is sharing this week at Musings of a Housewife.

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Wendy on February 3rd, 2009 at 2:33 am #

Have you considered bringing protection with you when you go to the grocery store on Superbowl Sunday? Burping and Farting Girl could do in a pinch. In our family, we had Burping and Farting Dad that we used in such situations. He was always good for making a clearing wherever we went. And for scaring our dates. But that’s another story.

Jessie on February 3rd, 2009 at 10:44 am #

Oh my goodness! Hilarious! Hubby had fun trying to find regular saltine crackers the night before the superbowl. They were out everywhere and being sick with I’m guessing a stomach virus, that was all I wanted. I had to settle for some card board tasting fat free saltines. Blech!

Jen@OurDailyBigTop on February 3rd, 2009 at 11:09 am #

Good lessons. I’m with you. I hit Costco Sunday afternoon and it was crazy. Never ever again. As for shots, I stay far away…let’s just say Cancun, tequila and spring break. Get the picture?

Allison L on February 3rd, 2009 at 11:09 am #

That is hysterical! Gosh, were you just hammered based on how many penalties were called! Sorry about your team. We were pulling for them! Too bad! Love the post!

Gramps on February 3rd, 2009 at 1:10 pm #

I’m still marveling that Jeff knows, (or will admit) knowing, porn stars names.

(For you youngsters who, like make up this like blogging community-

LIke Marveling means “Express astonishment or surprise about something” Do you like it?)

misty on February 3rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm #

oh my dear girl…

nicole on February 3rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm #

In your husband’s defense, there were an unusual amount of penalties called in that game.

I went grocery shopping early Sunday morning and had no troubles. But it was 8:30.

Next year you can make up the rules of the drinking game.

Jenna on February 3rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm #

frozen lime juice. it’s not the same as real, but margaritas are about new experiences… at least that always been my excuse.

Musings of a Housewife on February 3rd, 2009 at 11:50 pm #

You are HILARIOUS. Tell the truth, did you write this after your shots last night? ;-) P.S. You accidentally linked to last week’s post. I fixed it. :-)

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