I have a confession to make. But you have to promise not to stone my house.
Do I have your word?
Okay. Read on then.
We left church today.
And by ‘left church’ I mean to say that just before the pastor’s sermon, Jeff and I plotted an easy escape route before physically standing and quickly departing.
We didn’t stay.
Before the sermon.
But you promised.
Here’s the thing: we need a new church.
For many reasons.
The first of which is that the church we currently attend is a forty minute drive from our house.
The second of which is that the church we currently attend has two pastors. One of whom is truly gifted in the ways of inspiring and connecting with the congregation. The other, well, just not so much.
The second pastor insists on memorizing the Gospel and reciting it aloud. Instead of reading it. And I use the term ‘memorize’ loosely because he just really butchers it every. time.
And then there is this praise team leader who seems to really enjoy the spotlight. She gives herself lots of solos. Lots and lots of them. That, in itself, I could almost overlook. The clincher, though, is that she is sometimes relegated to lead prayers.
Again, the spotlight thing.
I swear she must keep a thesaurus hidden up there somewhere because she comes up with about a gazillion words that all mean the same thing. And she meanders her way through prayers as if she is trying to win a Guinness record for lengthiest pray-er.
All of it collided today.
And we just couldn’t sit through.
No stoning. Remember?
After our great escape we discussed the need for a new church. Not that this was the first discussion. Oh no. Not by a long shot.
But finding a new church is hard.
Especially when you live so far from the boundaries of civilization. And when you happen to be (admittedly) wary of organized religion.
Now is the time to go congregation shopping though.
It’s much harder, you see, to go unnoticed in an uncomfortable situation when you traipse into a service with four children in tow. The Brady Bunch thing just doesn’t lend itself to anonymity, kwim?
So Jeff and Jayce and I will be dipping our toes in local church waters over the next few weeks while the girls are away at dad camp.
If for no other reason than now we can’t possibly revisit the scene of our shameful crime.
Leave it to me to burn church bridges.