I took my two oldest daughters to see My Sister’s Keeper at the movies today.
Yes, I’d read the book (and subsequently sobbed my way through the ending mind you). I’d also seen the previews. And of course there was the fact that adorable little Abigail Breslin played a starring role; I loved her so much in Little Miss Sunshine that I was excited to see her on screen again. All of these things were among my reasons for wanting to take my own girls to this movie.
But I have a confession: I had ulterior motives.
I don’t have a sister myself, though I’ve frequently found myself wishing I did. If you only knew how many times I’ve coveted those sister relationships, when I hear about them through the grateful mouths of my girlfriends. When I was younger, stories of secrets kept and jeans shared and late night alibis given to questioning parents always made me jealous. And as the years have changed us, those tales have turned from girlhood frivolities to meaningful bonds: sisters who stand as Maids of Honor in each others weddings and later go on to share in the pushing and panting of childbirth experiences. They meet for happy hours and sit on the phone each night spilling the day’s exhausting frustrations and tiny triumphs. And then of course they also trudge through ugly things like divorce and breast cancer and the loss of a parent.
Who wouldn’t want a sister of her own?
My girls are lucky ones. They each have not one, but two. Two sisters!
Unfortunately their sisterhood doesn’t always resemble the dreamy tales of the sisters I’ve heard tell.
My girls bicker. And fight. They’ve even scratched a time or six.
I admit that I took them to this movie to show them a different side of sisterhood. A side that I pray they never know firsthand: the loss of each other.
My mom had a sister. She died well before her time. Well before any of us were ready to let her go.
In the years since then my mom has told my girls stories of how she used to force her sister to eat pancakes as a form of cruel and unusual punishment. She always ends the story, though, by saying how much she wished she had her sister, still.
I (thankfully) don’t have any stories like that.
I wish my mom didn’t either.
And I pray that my girls never will.
So yes. I took them to this movie because I wanted it to paint a picture for them. I wanted to trick them into seeing just how valuable they are. Not only to me, but to each other.
Because pain in the butt or not – there’s nothing quite like having a sister.
Or so I’m told.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m tearing up now. I will be your sister! We sorta have that connection going on anyway you know.
I actually have 2 older sisters, and still nto the relationship I dream of. We get along ok, but not the Little Women existence I’ve always coveted. I tell my daughters every day that they are so lucky to have one another, that sisters are best friends, no one will ever love you like your sister…I hope that it sinks in.
And on a lighter note…how did you like the movie? I heard they changed the ending from the book, but I didn’t see the movie yet. Come to think of it, my sister is comig this Friday – maybe we could go and see it together.
You’re right. There’s nothing like a sister. They know you’re history and you can shortcut so much. But – you have to get through the “scratching” part first.
I love my sister…We fought growing up, but when I had my girls she became the perfect aunt and that forgives alot. I have two girls just like my mom did. I have one who is sensitive and cries easy (Me) and one who is tough as nails (My sister). My dad says it sets him back 25 years. I’m sorry you don’t have a sister, but you have a wonderful family. God Bless!
I really want to see that movie, too! I don’t have a sister, but always wanted one, too!
LOVE this post!! I feel the same way! And when my 2nd daughter was born, I was thrilled to have girls who would have lifelong sisters in each other! I tear up thinking about all those “Sister”-type gifts and frames and such that someday they’ll buy for each other. And we’re expecting Baby #3 in the next 2 weeks. If it’s a 3rd girl, then the more the merrier — TWO sisters for each girl! I love it and always wanted a sister — perhaps that’s why I joined a sorority?? :) haa — not the same! :) But I do think that may be why I have a very strong bond with some of my girlfriends.
I have 2 sisters and LOVE it :-) we’re best friends now, but we SURELY fought like crazy when we were younger! I want to see that movie, but I know I’m going to bawl!!!
I too wanted to have a sister, and feel pains of jealousy when I see sister interact!
I bet your girls out grow the bickering. Eventually, they’ll understand what great friends they have in each other.
I have two sisters, and I ACHE for my daughter to have a sister. I want her to have both brothers and a sister, just like my boys have…
My sister is three years younger than I, and we fought constantly growing up because we were so different. We didn’t really start getting along until both of us were married with children and we finally had something in common. Now we are both grandmas (young ones!).
I just came back from spending a week with her, and had one of the best weeks of my life as we just hung out together. We live across the country from each other and only get to spend time together every couple of years. She has mellowed, and I have loosened up, so we are comfortably in the middle now. I love her dearly and she is one of my very best friends. I hope this becomes true for your girls. I am so blessed.
I came here today hoping for a laugh, not tears. They will grow out of it, patience. I am lucky enough to have a mother and daugher who are my best friends.
I fought with my sister too, but we are as close as ever. Sharing similar life experiences helps a lot, since we are about 3.5 years apart in age.
Does the movie end differently than the book? I thought the ending of the book was a bit of a cop out. Email me and tell me what you thought. I don’t care if you tell me how the movie ended because it will be a while before I see it anyway.
You gave me goosebumps! I was thinking the same thing through the movie… I want a sister, too :-)
And aren’t you proud? I linked to my blog.
That was a very moving post. I often wish I had a sister as well.
I can’t bring myself to watch it. I cry and bawl at all the commercials that are advertising it.
I know I’ll watch it… but I’ll go in crying… that never phases well for me because I’m an ugly crier!
But now I want to go…
I have two sisters… it really only gets better as we get older. I’m lucky!
I don’t have a sister and neither does my daughter. That does make me sad but I do have some great girlfriends and hope my daughter finds them as well.
Those are some serious ulterior motives.
Was the movie as good as the book, I heard it wasn’t?
I love watching the interactions between my girls too – I never had a sister either growing up, so am completely amazed at seeing how much they love (and sometimes hate) each other. :)
I have three sisters. I think we hated each other growing up. :) But seriously, now, they are my friends. I don’t think about it often enough. I should appreciate them so much more. I’m going to see them all this weekend, and I can’t wait!
I haven’t seen that movie nor have I read the book, but I think I will now. Thanks for the perspective Darcie!
What a sweet post. I, too, wish for a sister of my own. I wasn’t so blessed. I don’t even have a daughter, although I’m blessed with three sweet son’s. I see my boys fighting a lot, too, so I know how sad that can make a parent.
I am sure that your daughters, as much as they might bicker, will be lovely friends as they grow older. It seems like it’s much easier to really like someone when you don’t live with them, and fight for parents attention, and toys, and all that jazz.
Nell