Do you have a second? I need your opinion on something.
Okay, so, last Thursday every single child in Cassidy’s class received an invitation to her birthday party. I chose not to tell Cassidy about the party, not because it was to be a surprise, but because:
a) I didn’t want to hear about it (from her) for the next nine days
and
b) because I was a little nervous that nobody would come.
On the invitation I asked that parents RSVP by the 19th so that I could gather enough supplies for each child in attendance. Fair request right?
I think so too.
Anyway, nobody has called.
That’s not entirely true actually.
My friend Becca has RSVP’d for her son (who is in Cassidy’s class) and her son’s best friend (also in her class). So they are coming. But that was never really in question. Only because when you have good friends you know you can rely on them to show up to your daughter’s birthday party. Much like family would, if you are so blessed as to live around them.
Moving right along though.
So, no RSVP’s as of yet.
Which–I’m fairly certain–means nobody is coming.
So I’m about to make an executive decision to take Cassidy (and her two friends) to do something way cooler than a boring old birthday party at home (think along the lines of Chuck E. Cheese or the bounce house place).
I hesitate only a bit. Because what if some poor kid (whose lousy parent neglected to RSVP) shows up at the door?
And nobody answers.
That would kinda suck.
On the other hand…
Shoulda RSVP’d.
So give it to me straight.
Is it okay to pull a party switcheroo if I don’t hear from anybody else?
{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
I’d say if they show up without RSVP’ing, then that’s their problem.
Also, I wish I could throw the boys in the car and show up for Cassidy’s birthday party. We like bouncing and pizza.
Yes! That was very nice of you to invite the whole class. There is still one more day to rsvp but if you don’t hear by then, go do something fun with the birthday girl and her friends. Why should you have to plan for people who can’t even take the time/minute to call you. It’s really annoying when people don’t rsvp or think deadlines don’t apply to them.
I’m not sure how it stands on the etiquette scale but I say…go have fun. Perhaps in the future the parents of the child that may or may not show up will RSVP.
Yeah, if they can’t get their act together, go do something fun. Hopefully, the non-RSVP is what they meant to do.
I personally think its fine. But then again, for some reason here in the southwest, we folks don’t like to RSVP. Beats me why. Go have fun!
So, since other people have given their opinion, I feel safe giving mine. You know, as an attendee’s mother.
No RSVP = No party for you.
If nobody calls you by tomorrow at bedtime, plan away.
The boys and the little brother are SO excited to spend Cassidy’s birthday with her, and Jack told me a special secret the other day: “Cassidy and Jayce’s family is just like my family.”
:-)
Well in my area, there would be a lot of people showing up at the empty house. RSVP means nothing to these people. Seriously annoyoing.
Some people rsvp, some don’t. I don’t get it. You have to rsvp. It’s the RULES PEOPLE! It’s seriously annoying when people don’t rsvp.
I think it’s fine to change plans. I don’t know what ettiquette says, though. I say go for it–go nuts!
I spelled etiquette wrong. I hate when there is an error in my comment. I appear so unrefined. And you know how very refined I am.
Hard call. I myself have been a non-RSVP offender. In my own defense, when I don’t RSVP, it is usually because I have lost the invitation and have a vague idea of time/date/place of the party and expect to text one of my mommy friends the day of and get the low down. I realize that does not help out the birthday mommy because then she has no idea the correct amount of party items, goody bags, etc. Still doesn’t stop me from being thoughtless on occassion (as a result of misplacing the invite). However, my daughter is 10 and we go to a small school…when the kids have a party, everyone is invited as well…but we also expect that most everyone will show up. It seems unspoken, but we feel that it is your responsibility to attend…that’s what friends do – celebrate life’s milestones together. If this is Cassidy’s first school birthday party, you may want to have a mommy friend inquire of other moms as to their intentions. No sense creating a rift if you are going to continue to see these moms/kids year after year. They may think that it’s a given that they’ll attend.
They should RSVP! If you have phone numbers and can call, I’d do that first just in case, but otherwise… their loss!
Steph
I’m annoyed on your behalf and also understand the pinch you’re in. I’d take the lack of an RSVP as a no, but also be afraid of people showing up. Please keep us updated, and most of all have an awesome day celebrating Cassidy!
I wouldn’t change the venue, I am willing to bet people will show up. I have thrown half a dozen showers, dinners, and parties this year (for ADULTS who know better) and haven’t gotten more than a 2% RSVP rate. It is so irritating.
In the defense of invitations given at school….who knows if those kiddos actually handed the invites over to the parent. I can’t tell you how many party invitations I have pulled out of the bottom of backpacks at the end of the year.
Whatever you do, I know Cass will have a blast!
I’m one of those people who gets kinda annoyed when people don’t RSVP. I agree with Erin, If they show up, it’s their fault.
Well I dont know because around these parts, I swear no one RSVPs for anything – and I must admit I’ve been guilty of forgetting myself once or twice. But at the same time, if they didnt rsvp then it’s their own fault right?! :-) i say go for it!
It is one of the rudest things about our present culture. I agree there will be people who will show up without having RSVP’d… that said, I might leave a note on the door something to the effect that other plans had been made due to the small number of RSVPs received, but just in case someone shows up. I agree Cass will have a great birthday no matter what you choose to do.
I do my very best to RSVP either way, but definitely when we are going to attend a function. I do sometimes forget to call when we are not coming, which is terribly rude. As someone else said, some parents may not actually have the invite. I found one for my son’s classmate the day of the party! We obviously did not go. If possible, why don’t you give Cassidy the choice on the day of the scheduled event? Or as Stephanie P. said, call the class and double check. You shouldn’t have to do that work, but it might give you peace of mind.
You have to assume they are not coming, otherwise how would you know how many to plan for? Thats the reason for an RSVP people! You’re probably safer getting out of there in case the whole class shows up, and you’re not prepared. I like the idea of a note on the door. Or you could send out another note saying the party is off due to lack of response.
I think that is so rude and I would have no problem changing the plans! Someone gave me a tip one time – don’t put the location of the party, just put “RSVP for location”. Then you know for sure if people are not coming!
Absolutely, pull a switcheroo. If parents do get around to calling, tell him you didn’t hear from them by the RSVP date so you had to switch the party and unfortunately can’t include their child. And leave a note on your front door saying the same for those parents who don’t bother RSVPing, but just show up with their kids. I know that’s kind of cruel, but honestly I am so fed up with parents being inconsiderate about RSVPing for birthday parties.
In the words of Stephanie Tanner (of the show Full House), “How Ruuuude!” I say go someplace fun. I would hate for Cassidy to have her feelings hurt by seeing all the party stuff out for more people than come. If you go out someplace fun with the definite yes’s, she will think that is what was planned all along and really enjoy herself!
I’d ask around before changing venues. This is partially because I’m chicken. But also because as a teacher, I know that many things you hand a kid at school end up in the black hole of backpacks and never make it to Mom and Dad until the day of (or after) the event, so some parents might not be rude, but uninformed.
Too bad, their loss. Switcheroo all you want. The older I get (which means the busier I seem to get with work, school activities and sports) the less patience I have for people who do not RSVP. So, either ask those you care about if they’re coming or not, or don’t bother asking whatsoever and change your venue. If they show up to your door and they haven’t rsvp’d, I’d say they were foolish to “assume” the party remained the same or they were even still invited. Harsh? Perhaps. However, it’s a simple gesture on their part to either say yes or no.
I’m curious… what did you decide to do?
Would you want to follow up with evite invitations? Those send reminders to slackers, um I mean, people that they haven’t responded.
Just thinking the more the merrier for Cassidy. Happy Birthday, Cassidy!
ugh thats annoying. And i know its mean but i would show up at school after my totally awesome bday party tht no one RSVP’d to, and say HAHA! YOU DIDNT RSVP U MISSED OUT!” yes mom. lets leave without them. actually i might stay @ home but anyway yea leave without them
So, I’ve probably already missed the party, but I always have an opinion. I suspect you’ll have folks show up who didn’t RSVP which is seriously annoying, because why can’t people just be courteous. I don’t get the whole “lost in the backpack thing”… I’m either the backpack police or super nosey, because I check the backpack daily. My little one is in 1st grade so maybe its different once your kids get older. Still annoying no matter what the age. I say change the venue!
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