Comments on: So Tell Me

By: Casual Friday Every Day

Casual Friday Every Day — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:21:03 +0000

I don’t agree. Maybe living together before marriage (though I did that and we’re together 12 years) but certainly not just dating. And I think it’s important that you date more than one person… how else are you supposed to know when you’ve found the right one?

Nell

By: Erica

Erica — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 18:42:27 +0000

Lol on what Gramps said. :)

By: Laura

Laura — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:52:06 +0000

Coming from the position of a pastor’s wife, I wonder why he thought that it was his right to choose for other people whether or not it is right for their sons and daughters to date. I have read the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” Because of a boy, I tried to do that, but for me it did not work. I dated 3 guys prior to my husband. One that I quickly found out was not my type. One that I thought was my type, but after a few months realized that we had different goals in life. And one that was the sweetest guy in the whole world, but a terrible kisser. By the time I dated him I realized that not only did I need the sweetest guy in the whole world, I also had to be attracted to him in some way. I was not attracted to this fellow and he couldn’t handle my moodiness, but I was attracted to his best friend and his best friend could handle my moodiness. We are all friends and my dating the other never bothered either of the guys. I actually think that short engagements are a good thing because if you are engaged to someone, then you obviously know each other well (or should) and you should go through premarital counseling with either a pastor or a professional counselor. Then once all the bugs that can be exposed before a marriage are and the couple still wants to get married, then of course they want to have sex with each other. So, they should just get married. Then they do not have sex before marriage. Brilliant. However, this didn’t work for my husband and I who had to be engaged longer than we wanted to, but we still managed to get married before having sex. And my opinion on dating doesn’t have to be everyone’s opinion. If someone doesn’t want to date and has other methods to get to know someone, great. If someone needs a long engagement, though I don’t understand it because I think that if they’re engaged they should be sure that they want to get married, that doesn’t mean that they are wrong, just different. The important thing is to remain sexually pure, and if you aren’t, repent (turn a 180, asking for forgiveness from God and the person you are sinning against). All in all, I don’t believe that the Bible actually tells us what to think about dating. It does give us principles to follow when we do (or don’t) though.

By: Funkidivagirl

Funkidivagirl — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 01:58:33 +0000

I am here now with my son and honestly I am still trying to decide how I feel about this. Pre-marital sex? No. But does dating have to lead to that? I don’t think so, if there clear boundaries. And I agree that being exclusive with one person at a young age leads to hormones making the decisions. I’m sure that we will allow our son to date, but first have a very long talk about expectations.

By: Gramps

Gramps — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:33:21 +0000

How could you still hear what he said after that loud opening music?

By: nicole

nicole — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:05:16 +0000

I think dating has its place, within reason. Like the first person said, it really depends on what dating means and what is involved. I don’t think people should be sleeping around and that kind of thing, but I also think you might need to spend time with more than one person. Perhaps your pastor was moving towards a courting idea, which is very popular in Christian circles, I understand.

By: Christina

Christina — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 19:05:45 +0000

Wow – so he’s into arranged marriages then? Because how else are you going to find someone to spend the rest of your life with? I agree with pretty much what everyone else said. Dating is necessary and it’s all about how you go about it.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 16:41:02 +0000

I think it is so interesting that people are such big advocates of learning “what you don’t want”. I would think an intelligent person could make that field very very narrow without dating a lot of the wrong people.

And I agree with the earlier comment about the difference between hanging out with boys or spending time with them vs. having a boyfriend.

I have seen so many friends who are paying the consequences for their “relationships” from middle school and high school well into their marriages. And I don’t mean the girls who got pregnant! I mean the girls who fell in “love”.

By: Cori

Cori — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 16:20:52 +0000

Oh gosh, if I married some of my picks during my younger years, I would be in a lot of trouble. Thank GOD for dating! Now I know exactly what characteristics I am NOT to have in a husband.

By: O Mom

O Mom — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:53:09 +0000

We are in the middle of this whole thing having an ‘anydaynow’ 16 year old daughter. I think dating is ok. As in going out to dinner, lunch, movies, icecream, etc. with different boys. What we do not think is ok, is having a steady boyfriend at this age. No going over to a boys house and being alone. I think the whole having one serious boyfriend thing only leads to the stuff that boys are so consumed with at this age. The physical stuff. That’s what I wan to help protect her from, because honestly it’s hard.
This is so important to me right now, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
*Love Torri’s answer in the comments, that was your Torri right? :)he he