My oldest daughter, Torri, (then 17) got her license in October. Up to that point, I had been the one sitting next to her in the passenger seat as she “practiced” her driving. But then that flimsy little piece of plastic came along and deemed her capable of going it alone. And that she did. From my kitchen window I watched as she drove away that first time. No one beside her and nothing but the wide open road to show her the way. It reminded me of the first time I left her at preschool–a rainbow painted on the side of that building, a promise for us faint-of-heart first timers.
I was standing in my kitchen again today when the call came. Her voice cracked on the other end of the line. Mom? My heart drops at the ache in her tone. The tremor. I wait.
I got in an accident.
I exhale because at least it was her doing the dialing. The talking. This is a good sign.
A jumble of words are coming over the line, frantic and broken but I shush her. Torri. Torri! I demand of her: are you ok?
Yes.
I close my eyes and manage an instant prayer. Thank you, Lord.
As we drive the thirty + minutes to get to where she is I have time to think of all the things that didn’t come to pass. And I don’t care how much it costs because it’s only money. I only care that the call that came was one I can live with.
They grow up. Their hearts yearn to go. They become able and they do. They think they’re on their own out there and maybe physically it’s the truth but what they don’t know is that from the very start–I mean the instant that second line on the pregnancy test appeared–they’ve had us right there all the while.
With each child to pass through me I’ve lost a piece of my very heart. The pieces stay close by for a time but then little by little they go walking and then running and eventually zooming away in a little green bug. There is no choice but to–prayerfully–watch as they go.
She’s fine. I rest on that. In Him.
*Here I am. Just writing.*
Emily March 20, 2012 5:06 am
I remember calling my mom when I had an accident a few weeks after I got my license — and now, even though my daughters are still so young, I know exactly what you mean about pieces of your heart getting up and walking away.
I’m so glad your daughter was all right.
Amber March 20, 2012 6:38 am
So pretty. So true. My Tori’s only two, but I can already feel the truth in those words.
I’m glad she’s okay.
nicole March 20, 2012 7:50 am
Scary! I’m so glad she’s okay. I think we often don’t realize just how much of our heart they have until we get that phone call or experience a close call of some sort. It is sobering for sure.
Darcie March 20, 2012 9:59 am
Absolutely, yes. The phone calls and the close calls. Nothing like ‘em to jump start a mama’s heart.
Chelsea March 20, 2012 8:48 am
First, so glad she is ok. What a scary situation for you and her both.
Also, this made me cry thinking about how the grow. Mine are little (3 and 5) and I’m sitting here bawling about them driving away one day. Clearly I need chocolate…
Laura March 20, 2012 9:13 am
Glad she is fine…! But I know exactly what you speak of! Allie is on the rode to getting her license and it frightens me to have to let go of that little girl that once would not let go of me! They sure take a huge chunk of our hearts…..don’t they? Love your posts! Xoxo, Laura
Funkdivagirl March 20, 2012 9:40 am
I’m so glad that she’s okay! And that you are too, Mom.
Allison@Slice of Heaven March 20, 2012 9:53 am
Beautiful post, Darcie! I remember having to make that call as a teenager to my parents (especially hard when your dad is a drivers ed teacher…LOL). But, my parents felt the same way. As long as I was ok, cars can get fixed! I hope she is ok. (((hugs)))
Becca - Our Crazy Boys March 20, 2012 9:57 am
I’m so sorry – that had to have been scary. I’m glad she’s ok…. how’s the pretty green car?
Darcie March 20, 2012 10:00 am
Not so pretty anymore :(
Grams March 20, 2012 11:56 am
So glad she is OK. I bet her pride is bruised though. She will be fine and so will you my dear, you both come from good stock.
jen March 20, 2012 12:35 pm
So glad she’s ok. I bet it was scary to hear her voice on the other end. I guess it doesn’t get any easier, does it?
Francie March 20, 2012 2:49 pm
Both of my kids had to make that call- Allison wouldn’t let go of the steering wheel or take her seat belt off till the policeman or her dad saw she was doing everything right(the wreck was not her fault) — but she did make the front page of the local paper. David had his going to get his license renewed on his 17th birthday- never drove by that corner again as long as he lived in town. Both were ok and that was all that mattered as you put it down so eloquently. Tell Tori this to shalll pass. Her guardian angel was busy doing her job.
Kim March 20, 2012 5:55 pm
Sending a prayer of thanks that Torri is okay. So sorry that the cute green car didn’t fair so well. The important thing is that your irreplaceable baby will be fine. Hope some of the stress of that phone call is starting to ease. Hugs.
kelly March 20, 2012 7:07 pm
When was that? I’m so glad she was okay. So scary!
Amy March 20, 2012 7:21 pm
So glad to hear she is ok.
Sharon March 20, 2012 9:45 pm
Darcie – oh so scary! But you are right, the important thing is Torri is fine and she probably learned from this. Hate it for her car though! When I got my first new car (a Cricket!), I think I had it about 3 months when I got in an accident on the interstate & it was totaled. I was ok but at the time, all I could worry about was that new car! I had to call my parents too to come and get me and they were probably an hour away.
I’m sure Jeff shared his first accident with Torri – when he took out 5 cars in the school parking lot! I’ll never forget that day either! But it’s something you can laugh about later and realize God was sitting with you in that car.
Darcie March 21, 2012 11:48 am
We all had a good laugh about that story. Especially the part about you screaming non-stop as he plowed over all those cars ;)
Christina March 21, 2012 6:49 am
I’m so glad she’s ok! I know that feeling of your heart going into your throat…. What happened? Is her pretty green bug repairable?
Adventures In Babywearing March 21, 2012 10:19 am
Oh Darcie, I hope it’s all okay. Such a great response you had.
Steph
Beth March 24, 2012 1:02 pm
I am glad Tori is ok and you are too! Most importantly, I can remember how you handled this situation when I get the call.
Darcie March 24, 2012 6:40 pm
Oh, friend. I guess it helped that I was waiting for it. I just knew it was going to come sooner or later. This parenting thing is so not for the faint of heart. XO
dadispen March 26, 2012 3:15 pm
I wonder how my parents felt the first day i took off on wheels.
Darcie March 26, 2012 10:08 pm
You’ll find out. All too soon.